It might be.

It might be. That right now, I am in a season of steadfast. Of holding on tight and trusting my God more than ever before.

Last night our pastor really laid a picture out for me. Because I have been struggling big time with staying put. I have been complaining, so much. About everything little thing going on in my life.

Mostly about where God has called us. New Jersey.

Pastor said. “Picture building a house. You have to start with the foundation, and the foundation is the hardest part. Imagine trying to jack hammer dirt. You’ve never church planted before. We are in the foundation stages right now. It’s the hardest part!”

I don’t even think that it’s New Jersey that’s got me so worked up. It’s the cold. But if I hold tight and wait for spring then I’ll get to actually experience spring! New life growing, and so far all the trees that are blossoming flowers. I’m obsessed with! I point them out to Jonathan every time we drive somewhere together just Incase he didn’t see them.

” look a pink tree!”

I like that.

But here’s the bottom line.

My life is ok, it’s good, in fact it’s great!

I am free to worship Jesus. No one with throw me in jail for it.

“While I live I will praise the LORD; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭146:2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I have made new friends. My job is going great, warmer weather is coming! Our church family is growing tighter. My husbands knowledge of the word is exploding! Seriously so impressed by him answering all my questions I had last night. Jesus is all around me. I have food in my belly, a roof over my head, adorable snuggly fur babies.

I do miss terribly my nieces and nephews. I wish they could come and spend time with me. But right now. I have to wait.

But so you know. Sometimes writing a blog or sharing even a vlog really helps decongest all the negative that’s bottled up inside of me. And once I write it down. Boom! It simmers down. Instead of staying at a high boil.

But seriously can we just talk about God!

Jesus. Just wow. Some days it’s so hard to just imagine the pain Jesus went through on the cross. On days where it feels like my bones are shaking right out of my skin from the cold. I have to remember what God’s body went through on the cross, so that I can spend eternity with him.

Some days it’s easy, to get swept up into gossip, complaining, self pity, and disgust. But if I can just remember that small detail and that giant cross Christ had to carry. Then I can make it through this season.

God I love you. I know you see it. My heart is yours. Help me in the tougher days to remember who’s I am. And I remind me my job is help love on people who might not know you yet.